just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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