I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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