I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
