How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
only if we run a train.
done.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
