Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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