So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
this just has baby written all over it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
