I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize