I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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