i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
