i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me