i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
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Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.