I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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