guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i think i just lost a toe
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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