if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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