Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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