i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
