i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
