you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
