I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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