Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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