im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
