ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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