u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
