it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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