He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
