I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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