She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
