oh god the rape fog is back!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
