they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
