Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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