If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize