I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
