In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We got so high we made milksteak
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
