Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
