She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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