Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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