just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
