For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
