i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
