i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
