this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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