If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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