k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize