2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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