I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
