girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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