I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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