Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
