Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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