Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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