the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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