What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize