Whod you bang
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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