The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
