His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
