SEEEEXXX PLEASE
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
