He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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