Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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