The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just tell him i said nine months
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize