i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
